Fuck You, Michael Bay

At a press junket with Nickelodeon, director Michael Bay described his vision for a live action reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. He said,  "When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.”


Hold up. Aliens? Why do want to make them aliens? The fact that they're mutated turtles is in the goddamn title! Their origin story involving the radioactive ooze is so ingrained into the mythology of the franchise to remove it would be like saying Peter Parker didn't get bit by a radioactive spider, but instead he is an alien from a planet of spiderpeople. Also, how can there be ninjas from another planet? Ninjas kind of have a cultural character unique to our planet.  I guess their mutations make these aliens more "edgy." It takes a visionary director like Michael Bay to destroy the beloved Transformers brand, but  now he wants to do the same to our Turtles? Why, Mr. Bay, I ask you, why? (I mean, obviously, besides the money)


Bay has responded to the fan backlash by saying, "Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world."


I call bullshit.